Leanna's Winding Path

28 December 2011-Wait and See

What is it about a week or so since my last post telling you about all of my upcoming doctors appointments. So let me put you up to date.

It all started with some new trouble I was having with my vision and occasional headaches I was having behind my left eye to 2012. It was getting harder for me to see. And my vision often roles kind of like one of those old time films or like I’m really intoxicated.  This makes it difficult to read and leaves me pretty dizzy and even more unstable on my feet. So I was referred to a narrow ophthalmologist. His name was Dr. Goodglick , and he’s one of the only neural ophthalmologist in the area. Anyhow after five-hour appointment, he had nothing to tell me. He recommended I get an MRI and schedule an appointment for a later date so they could review it and maybe get a clearer picture.

So the following Monday I went today get MRI. I visited Dr. Moscowitz the very next day so that he could reset the digital settings on my shunt because apparently it shuts down after being your a strong magnet, of which an MRI certainly qualifies. While we visited him he looked at the MRI and saw that one of the lesions in my brain that was previously untreated had been growing. It was an area that’s behind my left eye. The area where I had been having some headaches the previous month.

So that instigated the slew of doctor appointments the following week. First I saw Dr. Hendrix, which was pretty routine being that I was getting Herceptin. She had the report’s and she said that she them talk about it, and that I should see Dr. Gagnon and go with what he recommends, since he knows more about the brain and is also the radiation doctor.

So on Wednesday I went to see Dr. Gagnon. My appointment with him wasn’t so straightforward, and I found it frustrating. He confirmed the growth of the lesion behind my left eye. But he also mentioned other spots that were either getting larger or enhancing.  These areas are located in the cerebellar region of my brain and have been treated before. It’s because of the dead tissue in this area that I’m having trouble with my balance and coordination. Right now all is too difficult to tell whether it’s more dead tissue he was seeing or if it is tumor. This information cannot be decided with just images. The reason this is sort of a big concern is that I should not have these areas retreated again. It would increase the amount of dead tissue and increase the chances of long lasting effects on my brain. We decided to wait for at least 2 months and get another MRI of the brain. At that point will reevaluate and see if there are areas that need to be treated.

I didn’t take this news very well. Both Herb and I were pretty upset. In fact, I didn’t want to come home, so we went to Firestone and had a nice dinner together. I allowed myself to be sort of angry and complain about the unfairness of it all. Really I only indulged in self-pity that one evening and maybe a little of the next day before I pretty much got over it.

And then my final appointment with Dr. Goodglick was fairly uneventful. At least he was able to tell me that the lesion behind my eye is not likely to be causing me the vision trouble I’ve been having. But unfortunately he wasn’t able to really tell me what was causing it. And he is unable to help me with some of the major vision issues that I’ve been concerned with like the rolling vision and the dizziness. He is having me come back in 2 months with a follow-up MRI and see what he sees then. I’m not expecting much.

So I’m sure that some of this sounds like pretty bad news. But the way I see it is like this. Right after Dr. Moscowitz told us about the lesion growing in my brain, I realized something. I felt exactly same after he told me as I felt before he told me. Physically my symptoms haven’t changed at all. I feel the same, which is pretty good overall. Despite regular fatigue from not sleeping very well (steroids), I’ve been feeling on top of my game.

So please don’t worry about me at this time. My biggest frustration is that I think Who’s That Girl is going to stick around for a long time. I just can’t shake the steroids. And really even that is not so bad. She’s a pretty nice girl. And most of my friends are fully accepting of her. I’m the one that’s mean to her. But I’ll try to be nicer and accept her for who she is.

Thanks for reading this.

Have a happy 2012.