Leanna's Winding Path

18 October 2011 – Back on Track

Hi everybody.

You might know that last spring I thought all of the pieces in my life were falling together.  Things were happening like I was the author writing for them to happen that way.  For instance, take Tai Sophia.  I found out about Tai Sophia through a friend in March.  She encouraged me to get acupuncture there (which turns out to be my favorite alternative therapy so far).  While there, I came across a flier for their new Masters of Nutrition and Integrative Health program.  I looked at it closely and thought, “This is everything I want.  It is science-based.  It will help me make decisions about my own food choices.  And I could help others too!  This could really give my life purpose, an application beyond the co-op”  The application was due April 1^st.  I made the deadline and got accepted for the very first class starting in September.

Wow.  A chance happening upon an awesome school, newly offering an awesome program like it was written for me and just waiting for me to show up!  How awesome is that!?

And that wasn’t all that was falling into place.  It was an amazing time.

And then their was this summer.  Oh, this summer was difficult.  Starting with an emergency trip to the hospital on Memorial Day, I was truly sick.  I didn’t want to admit it though.  I didn’t even recognize that I was really sick until a few weeks ago.  I knew I didn’t feel good, but I still thought I was fine, it would pass.  I was meant to go to Philadelphia, dammit (there are several of you who know exactly what I what I am talking about).

But I wasn’t.

Then I went through this summer.  I’ve had to teach myself how to walk, how to stand, how to write, and how to be fully dependent on others and be humble about it.  It’s a lot tougher to learn that kind of information at the age of 32 than at the age of 2.  Don’t you just love how the young ones can pick things up immediately.   –Please, please, start teaching your children a foreign language while they are still young enough to adsorb it.

So this summer leading into the fall really drug me down into a bit of a depression.  You probably noticed that in some of my posts..

But now, it’s like my life is back on track again.  Or maybe I’m just more accepting of my position.  Whatever it is, I feel so much better.  I am very happy.

I’m having an awesome fall.  I really noticed this the weekend before last after having a wonderfully casual (and beautiful) weekend with local friends who were just happy hanging out.  Oh, it was wonderful.

Well since then, it has felt like a heavy burden has been lifted.  Before, I would have considered myself depressed.  Yep, full on depressed – mopy, withdrawn, and unmotivated.  But now, I feel great!  Thanks girls for helping me to turn it around.  You didn’t even know that you were doing it.  And I’ve had lots of wonderful company since this fall (many from out of town) and will continue to have through Christmas.  I feel amazing now and like my life is back on track.  From this perspective I can look back on this summer and see that it too was part of me moving forward.  I was so sick, but didn’t want to admit it.  But I had some serious healing to do.  My body finally forced me.  The surgery I had was a necessity.  The rest and recovery I’ve had to take was completely necessary.  And somehow, even learning how to be independent within my dependence has been an important lesson too. 

I had to defer my enrollment into the nutrition program because I wasn’t ready.  When I made this decision, I was really devastated, because I didn’t know if I would ever truly be ready.  But I truly believe I’m ready to begin this January and I am so excited.  Having learned some important life lessons and giving my body time to rest and recover this summer and fall is exactly what needed to happen.  Now I can move forward as best I can.

Thank you Universe.  In your infinite wisdom, you have guided my way.